


skeletons come to life in my closet

by starrywrite



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Mike Wheeler, Bisexuality, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 18:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13218222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: "i told you something was wrong with me.""no," el says this time and she reaches for both of his hands. "no, nothing wrong. you're not wrong, you're mike." mike glances up at her, confused, and she continues, "you are okay just the way you are.""but i -""you are okay," eleven repeats, interrupting yet another self-deprecating rant. she speaks clearly, with conviction, and firmly. "just the way you are, mike. i promise."mike sighs, deflating a little. she doesn't understand. everything is always so black and white for eleven, but mike is so much more than black and white; there are shades of gray intertwined in his story that he doesn't understand, that he's scared of. he wishes he could be black or white, yes or no, straight or gay, boys or girls. not both. he never anticipated for both.





	skeletons come to life in my closet

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr for more stranger things shenanigans! http://creativityprince.tumblr.com/

sometimes, when mike is with eleven, he thinks about will. 

it's natural for will to cross his mind from time to time; he's mike's best friend, after all (and not that he'd admit it, but aside from eleven, will has always been his favorite friend in the party). sometimes he and el will be doing something that'll bring will to the forefront of his mind -- something they saw on tv, el's word of the day, something in a comic book that mike's read to el. little things like that will trigger thoughts of will. and it's all perfectly fine. it's  _normal_. 

but sometimes. sometimes mike will have thoughts about will that aren't normal. like when he's holding el's hand and he'll wonder what it'd be like to hold will's hand; if his hands are as soft as her's, or if they're constantly cold. or when he and el lie together on the couch, a space much too small for the both of them but they manage to make it work by mike holding her close -- she's so small and fits against him perfectly, and it makes mike think of will, who is also small and he wonders if he would fit as perfectly as she does. 

when those thoughts cross his mind, it freaks him out because he isn't suppose to think about his best friend in that way. and he certainty isn't supposed to think about a  _boy_  in that way. 

and he feels guilty whenever he thinks about will the way he's supposed to think about el. it's not like he and eleven are dating or anything like that. sure, there's something there between the two of them but after everything they've been though, they didn't want to waste time that could be spent just being together on trying to define something already undefinable. and mike likes el. ever since the beginning, he knew there was something special about her. he was captivated, intrigued by her in ways he could never explain. she made his heart race; she was adventure.

but then there's will. because he's always had will; he's familiar, he's safe. he's home. and there's something about will -- the way he's always so quiet, the way he draws, the way he's always thinking. mike is constantly enamored by these things, wondering on more than one occasion what is going on inside of that boy's head. but there's always been something about will; he was mike's first best friend, by his side no matter what and never left. there is so much in this world that mike cannot count on, but he knows for sure that will is one that he can.

he loves will. but sometimes he worries that he might  _like_  will. and he can't. because he likes eleven. because he's a boy and will's a boy. because he  _can't_. 

tonight is one of those nights where mike can't stop thinking about will, and he tries to shut his mind up by kissing eleven. it works for a moment but eventually, his mind starts to wonder and he finds himself wondering what it would be like to kiss will. the thought lasted a brief moment but it was long enough for the mental image of him and will to flash through his mind, and absolutely  _terrify_  him. 

he freezes, horrified at the thoughts that just entered his mind, and el must feel him stop kissing her because she pulls away and asks if everything is okay. "i think there's something wrong with me," he says, his voice shaky. all of him feels shaky -- his hands, inside his stomach, inside his mind. everything is a tornado of chaos and confusion and mike feels like he's going to be sick. 

"sick?" she asks him. mike shakes his head, even though he is. just not in the way she thinks he is. "mike..." is all eleven says and in one word, she says so much:  _what's wrong? are you okay? what can i do? please let me help._

he doesn't want to tell her -- she'll hate him if he does -- but after a moment of silence, mike just blurts it out. "i think i like will."  
  
confused, eleven’s eyebrows knit together. "i like will too," she says, then she adds, “friend."  
  
"no," mike groans, covering his face with his hands. el can see the tips of his ears are red. "not because he’s my friend -- i mean, not like -- i --"

"mike," el says patiently. she reaches out for one of his hands and gently pulls it away from his face, wrapping her fingers over top of his. shyly, he glances at her, his eyes shiny and lip trembling. "it's okay," she reassures him, her voice soft but firm. "it's okay."

mike takes a deep, shuddering breath and closes his eyes as he whispers, barely audible, "i... like will. the way i like you. as more than a friend." as soon as he says it, he goes to withdraw his hand from el's because he's certain she's going to hate him now that he's said it, but she tightens her grip on him. 

"gay?" eleven asks him. she's heard the word before -- at the boys' school, someone yelled it at will and until hopper explained it to her, she thought it was an awful thing to be. hopper even went as far as making it her word of the day to make sure that she understood that wasn't the truth and that there's nothing wrong with being gay. 

"no," mike murmurs, his voice still soft and scared. el has never heard him like this, so insecure and unsure of himself. it's almost painful. "no, i can't be, because i still like you. i don't  _only_  like will, but i also  _don't_  only like you, and i don't understand how that's even possible." this time he succeeds in taking his hand away from her and he covers his face once again. "see? i told you something was wrong with me."

"no," el says this time and she reaches for both of his hands. "no, nothing wrong. you're not wrong, you're mike." mike glances up at her, confused, and she continues, "you are okay just the way you are." 

"but i -"

"you are okay," eleven repeats, interrupting yet another self-deprecating rant. she speaks clearly, with conviction, and firmly. "just the way you are, mike. i promise."

mike sighs, deflating a little. she doesn't understand. everything is always so black and white for eleven, but mike is so much more than black and white; there are shades of gray intertwined in his story that he doesn't understand, that he's  _scared_ of. he wishes he could be black or white, yes or no, straight or gay, boys or girls. not both. he never anticipated for both, and just who the hell could? there's probably no one else on this earth like him so how can el tell him that there's nothing wrong with him when there clearly is? 

"i just want to be normal," he whispers to her, feeling vulnerable but strangely liberated at the same time. he's been keeping all of this to himself for so long, it feels so good to just let it all out. it feels as though something inside of him broke and now he just can't stop spilling out. "i want to only like girls. i don't want to like will, or boys, or  _both_ \-- how can anyone like both? that's so messed up, and greedy, and gross, and --"

"mike," el interrupts, but mike keeps on rambling. 

"and if i tell anyone they'll think i'm gross and a freak too, and they'll all hate me and you'll probably hate me too --"

"mike --"

"i don't know why i have to be this way! why can't i just be like everyone else? why do i have to be --"

eleven holds the sides of his face and murmurs, "stop talking. please." finally, mike shuts up. "you're okay. friends don't lie, remember? you're okay." 

mike can feel tears stinging at his eyes. "i don't feel okay," he whispers, his voice catching, he chokes on the word 'okay' and he closes his eyes, unable to look at el anymore. "i'm sorry." 

"why sorry?" el asks, her thumb gently stroking the side of his face, and it's killing mike that someone like her could ever care for someone like him. doesn't she see that he's fucked up and she needs to run away, far and fast? it's only a matter of time before she realizes but he wishes she would get it sooner rather than later. 

"because," mike sighs, trying to explain the tangled cord of thoughts that are inside of mind. he can't straighten them out no matter how badly he wishes he could. "because i'm.  _me_." 

"i like you," el says simply, as if that's all there is to it. yes or no. black or white. boys or girls. 

"i like you too," mike says softly. 

"and you like will too," eleven muses. mike just sniffles and nods. "okay," she shrugs. "okay. you can like both."

"i  _can't_ ," mike insists. 

"why  _not_?" el asks him, and if that isn't the million dollar question. the truth is, mike doesn't know  _why_ , he just knows he  _can't_. he knows it's not normal; that everyone is either gay or straight, not some strange hybrid. but he can't put that into words without sounding ridiculous and maybe it is ridiculous that he's forced to choose but he just knows that that's the way it is. that eventually he'll have to choose but he doesn't know what the right choice for him is. 

yes or no.

black or white.

boys or girls.

"mike, i don't know what to say," eleven admits. "i don't know what the right answer is. but i do know that you are  _okay_  just the way you are. you aren't wrong, or broken, or sick. you're mike. and that's okay. i  _promise_." and mike so desperately wants to believe her, but he doesn't know how to after so long of convincing himself otherwise. there's a part of him deep down that believes el, that knows she's telling the truth, and he wishes that part of him could speak up every now and again. because he's tired. he's so tired of having to think about choices when the answer isn't always yes or no.

black or white.

boys or girls.

is that all there is? is that all he can be? 

yes or no.

black or white.

boys or girls.

_both_. 

**Author's Note:**

> i might write a continuation of this eventually! but as of right now it's a stand alone :')


End file.
